Wow! Band cuz band is playing in 89.7FM radio now! Cool! “My Square Circle”.. hmm.. Congrats to them that they finally break into the radio scene. Kind of jealous actually, but  what the hack, as a cuz need to give him support. Go abg Fifi!

Hmm.. I realize that my family generation do have the genes of music. My dad is a bassist & still currently plays in night clubs, my mom knows how to sing & she really can sing. My 1^st sis ever shown in tv for certain shows & my 2^nd sis too, in “boria” during her school days. Both of course in the malay traditional “dikir barat” too & ever won trophies either in “juara” or “tukang karut”. My cuzs in Johore has their own band & has achieve certain albums in malaysia. Wow! When will it be mine? Yah yah.. I could sing well, but need to find the correct people to climb up together. But who?  

  Damn, need to list down some ideas for kin’s band. I really need to find this band a new bassist. I know, I could also play the role as bassist, but I’m hook on guitar n eager to practice.

  I’ve chat with this guy, Nur, (funny name huh. Thought he was a gal.) & he says that he is a guitarist. He was supposed to be in the struts but he was too late to MSN me as the struts are no more. Thought wanna put him in Kin’s band. But he doesn’t want to be a bassist. Should I reject? Should I take? Or should I find someone else? I called up kin juz now but she can’t chat as her prepaid was low.. is it!! Hehe. Oh well. To be frank, I’m eager to built this kin’s band into my own. Something that we could built up slowly together. Well, we wait & see. Hmm.. who I have in mind. Me in guitars(maybe lead), darling in drums, kin’s in vocals, fauzee in rhythm & who the hack is bassist? Well suppose if it was my band, who I will pick? Me in rhythm, darling in drums, fadil in lead, Han in keyboard & rafi, liza’s cuz in bass.. wow! That’s sounds miracle! But it’s just a dream that will never be a reality, especially fadil. R.O.C will never live again..

  Today kind of down to the earth mood as I felt bored at office. I felt that I’ve been left out. When they talk towards each other, it seems that the mood was high, but when it comes to me, it seems that they think I’m boring. I felt I’ve being bullied. What’s wrong here in my life in camp? Am I being deserted? Why?

  Last Saturday went to JB with mom & dad. Took a bus from Jurong about 8.30am. took the 160 bus straight to causeway the took a cab from JB to Pasir Gudang, my aunt’s place. They are having a wedding reception. We reach her place at 11am. Help along certain things which I could afford to do till I had a backache. Reach back Singapore about 10pm. Took this uncle car that we hired from somewhere straight to home. Luckily hi knew the road in Singapore. Cost us 90 dollars.

  The next day went out with darling. Met her at orchard at 3pm. She was so pretty, with her tight fitting clothes that made me go wild! You know.. Majulah Singapura! Walking from orchard to plaza singapura. Catch a movie, “Zathura”. Cool show, like “Jumanji”. Before that had dinner at Mcdonalds. Hugs & kisses is the best part though but I did not get to far..  please, lets not get carried forward here. It’s just that I miss her a lot & we seldom meet nowadays since I enter camp. & of course with less income. I do love her & wanna make her happy. This is the only way I can show her my love. Don’t worry dear, I’ll find a way to make you more happier.

  Tomorrow is another day. My next guard duty is on 22^nd & 30^th December. My blood pressure is 122, 80, 71.? Is that ok? Oh well.. On the 9th got an appointment with N.U.H. Damn! I’m really sick. My ass is getting swollen each day. Must live life to the fullest. Bye then!

Well, just read both darling & kin’s blogs. Miss out tons of stuff nowadays. Better still, miss out life. Oh well, hmm. What actually happen when I was not updating?

1.       Was warded in hospital on 3^rd Oct 2005.

2.       MC for nearly 1 month

3.       Hari Raya

4.       Hari raya outing with ITE friends, Darling & Sentosa friends

5.       Suppose to have the 2^nd operation on 17^th November 2005

6.       No more struts

7.       Few new bands called up

8.       Officially concentrate on Shikin’s band

Wow! To write up about all of this?! Gotta be kidding man! Make it short & sweet, Life getting interesting.

Well, today, 24^th November 2005

What happen? Yesterday had my 1^st guard duty since 1^st entering camp in July. Suppose not to do as gotta medical problem. But, me & my big mouth, want to try.. I’ve got the duty! Damn! Actually it was cool anyway, 8-10pm was actually patrolling duty around camp but the duty NSF give us freedom. May not need to patrol. Crazy to patrol at night! Camp is just beside the graveyard! My god! Lots of story about ghost. Luckily the NSF yesterday was cool.. Just write the time. You know, act as if we did patrol. Then after that 10- 12am, Centaury. Just look after the main gate. After that rest till 6am. Do again centaury.

Took half day today as got appointment with hospital.. Argghh! Lazy to talk about it..

To Kin,

Regarding the peter Denker.. Is he related to Jean Denker? Haha. I strongly believe he is only suitable to become our manager, not our bassist. Why? Well, to me, it seems that his age is way way too adult. It’s hard for you to understand now, but 1 day you definitely understand. But I felt that if he is our manager, we will definitely learn something n we can go far. Trust me sis!

Darling!! I really miss you lah. Damn no money! How I wish cash would grow on trees. We can go anywhere, anytime without worrying to pay. I always imagine that you were beside me, hugging n kisses.. hehe. Ok ok, not to much Khairul. Love You!

Arggh!! Lazy of typing. Tomorrow can continue.  Bye!

A letter for liza..

  Syg, I’m really sorry tau about yesterday night. I shouted at you. ‘Ngantok’ she sampaikan my brain dah stop functioning.. hehehe Syg, I minta maaf k. Dtg tau rumah I niari. Miss you lah. Dtg k.. Mmuuaacckkss!   

Monday, 19^th September 2005

07:20pm

Today’s work was ok. Tired though. Tons of printing had been done but I let my work tangling just now as I need to be back home early. It’s not that my mom wants me home early, but I need to catch my friend’s car home.. He gave me a lift. Haha! Good riddens to my officer. She always panic. & when she is panic, she’ll definitely put her anger on us! Damn! This is what I called Monday blues! Haha! Guess what, my officer called from office! She kept finding the room key to lock! Haha! I didn’t tell her where I kept! I called her back though. Haha! Wah!! So late go back!

Morning, when I’m on my way to work, I do not know why, but my mouth kept mumbling god’s name. ‘Zikir’.. Then kept saying prayers all the way to work & also during working. Well, it does keep me feel relax.. ‘Encik’  & Hendra took MC..  

Now, I’m back home. Home sweet home. Just ended a short conversation with darling. Hehe She sound happy! That’s good to here. Can’t wait to see her coming to my lovely palace tomorrow to visit my mom all by herself.. Wow! She is one of a kind!

Well, got nothing much to say though.. Later gonna have a short nap & will be waking up by 10:00pm to talk to darling. I owe her my sleep. Hmm.. play CM4 to keep me awake.. BYE!

18^th September 2005

09:20pm

What’s happening to me? Why am I feeling different here? Worried, scared, afraid.. I’m getting sick of having these thoughts. Thoughts that shouldn’t be thought. Is it because of life in NS? That should be it. The feelings always comes when it’s Sunday. After Monday it will be ok. Why is it so? I do received the Monday blues. Everything doesn’t goes on smoothly. How should I clear this undeserving feelings?

Does prayers help. Mom do always advice that prayers will help us having a clear mind. God will help people who always think of him. Did I miss those? If I do, when should I start? ‘Sigh..’ ‘Ramadhan’ is nearing. My heart is ready to change but my mind refuse to start. Maybe I should start what I had left 6 years ago. Maybe it will clear my thoughts.

Just end viewing the soccer match between Liverpool & our arch rival Man ‘Sucker’ United. Game ended goaless. Good game though. Pool should buck up the next match.

Miss darling. She be working 2:30 – 10:30pm till Friday. This Tuesday her off day. She mention that she will be visiting my mom while I’m at work. Damn forget to inform darling that she will be out sending aunt to the mental doctor in the morning. Will be back by 2pm. What will she be bringing for her? Hmm.. Hope to meet her after my work that day.. If not, I’ll be missing her more as the next meeting will be by next Saturday.

She is a perfect match for me. Caring, concern, loving, her honesty is hard to find in a girl. I mean, by the looks in her eyes, she is someone who I could trust. But I felt ashamed. Ashamed as I ever mistook her. All because of my fault. Problems kept rumbling down my heart. Or should I put it as climbing to my brain.. I’m really sorry dear. You know my reasons why I had to do it.

Khairul, This is the time for you to wake up, smell the real life. Clear your awful thoughts..